It has been some time since I posted to this blog, but I am so bored in my new job that I figure I need to do something.  I saw a mug on an Etsy site that said

“Askhole”

“Definition…. a person that constantly asks for your advice yet always does the opposite of what you told them”. 

I couldn’t help but laugh because we all know someone who does this and most likely have done this ourselves from time to time.  The reality is that people know the answers, the answers are within them.  They just don’t feel confident to do what they already know.  It is human nature to reach out to someone and “ask” their advice, we do it because we are hoping they will tell us what we want to hear and when they don’t, we don’t want to hear it.  I have found that people (including myself) make the same mistakes over and over and over again and we do that until we are truly ready to make a change.  Sometimes a circumstance gets so awful we have no choice, but to make a change.  Sometimes we just figure it out.  This mainly happens in relationships and I don’t mean just of sexual nature.  I also mean friendships.  I have a few friends that only reach out when they want advice from me (because they know I won’t judge) or they just want to vent and talk something through. It is funny because THEY KNOW the answers and while we are talking I hear them say “I know, but….” Yet they continue to make the same mistakes.  I call it “shopping down the same aisle”, if you keep shopping down the same aisle you will ultimately get the same result.  These are the same “friends” that never check in with me and see how I am doing.  I always say to myself, “I am not going to be there for them the next time they reach out”.  Guess what?  When they reach out, I am there.  I thought of them when I saw the “Askhole” mug, but as I write this blog I realize I am also and “Askhole”